


Stranger Omens

by Bunkookie (Lonely_Triceratops), Lonely_Triceratops



Series: Parenting and A few other of Aziraphale's least favorite things [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Gabriel Redemption (Good Omens), Godparents Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Oblivious Crowley (Good Omens), Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Their Love Is So, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), for anthony j crowley, his name is jamie, they adopt the extra kid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-09-27 13:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20408470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonely_Triceratops/pseuds/Bunkookie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonely_Triceratops/pseuds/Lonely_Triceratops
Summary: Crowley always loved kids, from sneaking children onto the ark, to shifting into a dog to entertain them during the black plague, Crowley loved kids. He knew there would be a leftover kid when he gave the Anti-christ to the nuns and while he didn't tell Aziraphale, he took the extra kid. The demon told the nuns that it was part of the his Lord's instructions.You can't hide a kid from your best friend for long.





	1. Chapter 1

This was a bad idea.

To be fair, all of Crowley's ideas-by design-were bad ones. This one had to be be in his top three bad ideas. 

The demon hoisted the refilled baby basket towards his face, cooing at the perfectly normal human child. Ten minutes ago, this basket held the Anti-christ. Now it held a beautiful, perfectly normal, healthy baby boy that Crowley had called 'J' when filling the paperwork the nuns gave him. He was the owner of a human child, officially.

Caretaker, not owner. Maybe a parent, even. He hadn't truly thought this through. He hadn't even breathed about it when he called Aziraphale. The demon _hadn't told his eternal best friend that he adopted a child? STUPID STUPID STUPID! _He cursed himself, gently setting the basket into his passenger seat. As soon as he started the car, the radio came to life.

"_Is it done, Crowley?" _A voice buzzed over the radio. Crowley silently prayed to Satan that the baby would _not _ start crying.

"Yes, my lord." He said through gritted teeth. "Don't worry about a reward." He strained to speak, wishing that whatever lord of hell spoke to him would just go away

"_Well done, Crowley. Ensure that the boy is deliciously evil, and make sure that the idiotic angel doesn't mess any of it up." _The voice said again. Crowley bit his upper lip.

"Uhhh huh." He inwardly groaned. "Will do, gotta go now. So many temptations to do." He said, turning the radio off. As soon as it was off and not rearing back to life he let a small 'ngk' sound pass hiss lips. The baby spluttered as well.

"Aww, are you hungry little man?" Crowley cooed, realizing he had no way to feed a baby. _Shit shit shit. Needed to go the store anyways. _He thought to himself.

And then it hit him all at once. He was a father now, he'd spent the next few years changing diapers and teaching, then the thirteen after that dealing with what would probably be the most demonic child ever.

This was not gonna be good.

\--

Despite the impending doom, Aziraphale had not heard from Crowley in a week, except the first day where he'd seemed in a rush to make a deal and get home. What was so important at his flat that he needed to be there? The anti-Christ had been on the earth for a week and Crowley didn't seem at all concerned. Just off in his own little world. So he stood at the door to Crowley's flat, waiting for his knock to be answered. When the door swung open, Aziraphale only got a glance of the messy flat before Crowley narrowed the door to the point where Aziraphale culd see him but not beyond.

"Heyyy, Angel. How ya been?" The demon asked, a smiled pasted on his face and his eyes carefully covering his eyes.

"Worrying of the end of the world, as you should be!" Aziraphale wrung his hands. "Let me in, you great big snake, we need to discuss the state of things." The angel said.

"Already discussed." The demon said dismissively making Aziraphale narrow his eyes. This hadn't been Aziraphale's idea-

His thoughts were cut short by a wail from somewhere in the apartment making Crowley's eyebrows shoot up.

"What was that?" Aziraphale asked.

"My umm cat. Lovely talking with you, you should umm get a wiggle on now!" The demon said trying to close the door. Aziraphale stepped back in surprise as it slammed closed.

_He has a cat? _Aziraphale asked himself as he stood at the door.

\--

Crowley breathed a sigh of relief before sprint back to his bedroom, which had been converted into a nursery until he could clean the guest room. Of course he could just snap his fingers and make it disappear, but Crowley was _sentimental _and a_ bit of a hoarder. _He'd first have to sort through everything and find a new place to store everything else. As well, he considered maybe sizing up into a house. Somewhere more inviting with a yard and a pool. Somewhere the still unnamed baby could have friends over. A place Crowley could come home to find Aziraphale in the kitchen cooking or in the library reading.

Wait, Aziraphale?

His thought was answered by a firm knock at the door. He picked up the baby, picking up the bottle as well and feeding the baby as he walked, cooing softly. He opened the door thoughtlessly.

"Crowley, I know you dont like caaaaaaaatsssss." Aziraphale dragged the word 'cats' out as he stared in shock at Crowley, holding a very tiny human baby in his arms.

"I can explain."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley brainstorm baby names while others begin to take notice at our main characters numerous absences.

Aziraphale felt like he could faint. Crowley had spent the past twenty minutes attempting to explain why he had adopted a child. And so soon after the whole anti-Christ business? Aziraphale had no way of knowing if the baby, currently sleeping in a hammock type contraption that rocked him on its own, was the anti-Christ or not. Would that go against the ineffable plan? What if all the baby business made Crowley impulsively adopt? (was that even a thing?)

Where on earth, or in heaven or hell, had this child come from.

"SO what's his name, Crowley?" Aziraphale glanced at the sleeping baby. Crowley turned red and mumbled something. "What was that, my dear?"

"He doesn't have one yet. Well on the papers it says J, but i dunno, that's not a name." Crowley became redder.

"He doesn't have," the angel found that he had raised his voice to the point that the baby stirred, "he doesn't have a name yet?" Aziraphale glared at the demon, who had a mouthful of a yogurt and oat parfait.

"Do you have a nursery?" Crowley shook his head.

"I was looking at maybe getting a house, with a yard, where he could, like, be a regular kid?" Crowley shrugged his shoulders and threw his hands up as he spoke around his food. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, placing his head in his hand.

"Well, let's at least name him, right? SO a list of J names. Jophiel, Jael, Jibril, Janax, Jahoel-." The angel was cut off by Crowley.

"Maybe things a bit less.. angelic and holy?" The demon gave a smile. Aziraphale glared once again.

"Jacob, Joshua, Jason, Jed, Jeremiah?" Aziraphale asked. Crowley made a strange face before Aziraphale glanced to the ceiling, "What about James?" He asked more towards god then to Crowley.

"James... I like that. Then he has nickname options. Biblical and modern, easy. Rolls right off the tongue." Crowley said. Turning, Aziraphale saw the demon staring fondly at the baby- _James- _and softly humming. The baby yawned in his sleep, making Crowley melt like a Popsicle. Aziraphale sighed but smiled, it had been a long time since Crowley had smiled like that outside of a drunken stupor.

"So, you are looking for a house? In Soho? IN London?" Aziraphale questioned. Crowley turned, glancing at his flip phone.

"Well, I actually already placed an offer for a house in Soho, four beds, three baths, a garden with a pool and a grill and the like. And the attic was converted into a library." Crowley shrugged. Aziraphale felt a longing pain in his chest but wrote it off as hurt that the demon hadn't even mentioned that he may move. What a surprise it would've been to the new tenants if an angel were to show up, sputtering Enochian at them and blessing everything in sight.

"I was waiting for a call back when you came marching back to my house declaring my hatred for cats." Crowley said. Aziraphale felt the longing once more in his chest, almost begging him to say that he wanted to move in with Crowley.

"I supposed that you'll have to give m the address and prepare a room for me. James will need two parents and someone to balance out your demonic influence." The angel smiled softly. Crowley smiled and bit his lip with a strangely sharp canine.

Crowley hoisted baby James onto his hip, humming as he used his other hand to paint the wall. Two months had passed and he was beginning to feel domestic, _too _domestic. He had told Aziraphale he was going out for the night, since he had been taking care of James this whole time, and laid fatherhood temporarily on the Angel. The aforementioned baby giggled and grabbed for the paint roller as Crowley painted the walls a pale yellow. Yellow looked good with most colors, a certain plus, and it gave room for James to like whatever he wanted.

Crowley didn't think so, but he was quite the loving parent. Ever since he'd adopted James, everything he did was for the boy. Even when he had to call a babysitter so he could do saving-the-world things, that was all for James. And Aziraphale, but Crowley refused to acknowledge that.

—

When Crowley left for the night, Aziraphale picked James up from his crib, using his free hand to miracle parts of the nursery together. The baby mindlessly babbled, but Aziraphale acted as though he understood each word. Until he felt another presence behind him. With a sigh, he laid James into his crib and spun the mobile, before facing the intruder.

"Aziraphale," Gabriel said, violet eyes unkind, "so good to see you again. Listen, your reports from these past couple months, they've been very short. Your miracle rate had plummeted to an _all _time low." The man always had an air of hostility about him, thinly veiled by his perfect smile.

"Ah yes, I've been quite busy. You see, this is... a child that has fallen into my care. I tried to name him after you but was met with resistance, you see." Aziraphale smiled pleasantly.

"Is he.. yours?" Gabriel asked. The word hovered between them. _Nephilim._

"Oh goodness, no! This boy is just a human. Guarding humanity is my job and for the moment, guarding him is my job. I assure you once the circumstances bringing James under my care have been resolved, I will be performing miracles left and right. Useful ones, of course." The angel explained.

"And all of this?"

"Ah, right. He has a... single father who is currently taking a short parenting break for the evening and I am helping decorate the nursery." Aziraphale laughed. Gabriel glanced around with a strange and unpleasant look, but nodded at Aziraphale and was gone with a crack of light.

"That was a close one, was it not?" Asked the angel, picking up baby James. The baby made strange noises that so strongly resembled Crowley's strange noises that Aziraphale could have sworn they were truly related.

—

Crowley three back his head as he finished his whiskey, feeling the familiar burn down his throat. Part of him missed getting drunk, but he told himself he gave it up for something better. He flirted quite openly with the very receptive barkeeper, who blushed and fixed her hair over and over. It was quite amusing to Crowley to watch this human woman with such human mannerisms. The only thing he disliked was the pair of eyes boring into his back, getting closer and closer.

"Beelzebub," Crowley sighed, turning around, "been quite some time since we've seen you on the surface how have you been." The demon said, yawning widely. The lord of hell glared at him.

"Where have your reportszzz been, Crawly." The lord of hell asked. Crowley gave them a funny look.

"Crow-ley. It's been 5000 years, Bee. And the reports are... coming. I'm in the planning of something big I just have to work some things out. And you'll be very pleased with my reports once I start influencing our dark prince." The demon said with a shrug.

"You are unbearable, Crow-ley. Be glad you aren't going to spend the next five yearszzz in the snake pit for that lip." Beelzebub growled.

"I'd fit right in." Crowley grinned. The lord of hell glanced a moment longer at the demon.

"Reports from others say you've been seen with a child. Please tell me you delivered the Anti-Christ properly?" Beelzebub glanced at around the room.

"Yes, that is a completely different baby."

"Izzz it infernal?" The question seemed obvious. Crowley, being a demon, was lusty by nature, although recently he'd slept with very few humans.

"If He is, he's not mine. Just a regular human baby. Just fell into my care by circumstances. Another servant for our _glorious _prince." Crowley gave a fake smile. Beelzebub nodded and strutted out of the bar, most likely to find a hole back to hell.

_I need to tell Aziraphale. _Crowley thought before looking at the bartender and ordering another drink. _Later._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's much longer than the previous and would probably make my AP English teacher cry but it matters not! More to come very soon.


	3. Soft Aziraphale is soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soft, soft Azi

Aziraphale sat in the soft arm chair now in the nursery, glancing up at the clock every once in a while before throwing himself back into his reading. Every now and then he'd get up to the sound of James crying, feeding or changing the baby whenever necessary. The angel know acknowledged the dawn, quirking an eyebrow at the fact that Crowley had yet to come home.

It didn't bother Aziraphale too, _too _much- the demon had been taking care of James mostly by himself and moving house- but he did worry a small amount. The demon obviously could handle himself and didn't need Aziraphale mothering him, but Crowley had hardly spent an hour away from James in the past two months and this was all _very _concerningly out of character-

His thoughts were cut off when he felt demonic presence nearby and heard the door open, slamming into drywall. At this, James woke from his sleep, not yet crying. Startled, and a bit ticked, Aziraphale scurried to the entryway to find a _very _drunk Crowley standing there. He was leaned sloppily against the door frame, his glasses askew and his cheeks flush. Aziraphale had never been sober enough to fully appreciate how Crowley was drunk, normally he was drunk too.

"Crowley! I was begging to worry, you'd been gone all night and-!" The angel was swiftly cut off.

"Azi-Az- 'Zira," the demon hiccoughed, struggling with the name, "angel," He crooned, "we should run awayyy. Jus' you, me, and Jamesipoo. Somewhere Beelzzzzeeeebub can't bother 's." Crowley slurred. Aziraphale furrowed his brow at Crowley. Was Crowley also given a surprise visit by his boss? It mattered not.

"We could," Crowley paused to hiccough, "build 's a 'lil Cab-in." Aziraphale gave a small smile and looked at the ground.

"What a lovely thought, dear. However we have more pressing matters. Gabriel dropped by, asking about James. He believes James is a... _nephilim." _The word was whispered as though it was some evil that shouldn't be brought up. Crowley gazed with an open mouth.

"Ngk," even drunk, he was the king of strange little noises, "Bee-zeb-up thought 'e 'as in-fern-al. How 'diculous is that?"

"Crowley dear, I think it's time you sobered up," Aziraphale said. Crowley groaned and forced the alcohol from his system, blinking at the throbbing in his head before fixing his sunglasses.

"So, Beelzebub visited you and Gabriel visited me... we need to find a way to do our jobs _around _James." Aziraphale thought aloud. Crowley nodded, holding his head in his hand as he tried to miracle away his hangover. The demon looked down and saw that his pants were on backwards and his tie was wrong and began trying to fix it.

_Oh. _Aziraphale felt jealousy pierce through his chest. He'd been too drunk to even cover up his one night stand. Not that he needed to! Heaven, no! He needn't spare mind to Aziraphale's feelings- not that he felt anyway about Crowley that wasn't just strong friendship!

He was hopelessly in love and he knew he couldn't deny it. The feelings Aziraphale felt weren't those of friendship, friends don't long for a life with the other, they don't get jealous when they know someone else was in the others arms. They didn't wish to hold their friend for eternity. This was love, different from pure, angelic love- the kind Aziraphale had for every living thing- this was earthly, exclusive, sinful at times.

The angel sighed wistfully and looked back to Crowley. He looked as angelic as a demon could, biting his lip as he was deep in thought, his long red hair messy atop his head falling in halo like patterns.

The silence was broken by a wail from the nursery. Before Aziraphale could even turn to respond, Crowley was half way down the hall. Aziraphale smiled and quietly followed him, standing in the doorway and watching Crowley feed and change the baby before killing him to sleep with a gentle song.

"My dear, you're a brilliant father," Aziraphale sighed dreamily. He was daydreaming again about Crowley being a domestic father. Well, Crowley _was _a domestic father, but Aziraphale wasn't truly part of it yet. Babysitting every once in a while and decorating a nursery via miracles was one thing, being a full time parent was another.

"I'm really not," Crowley said, his cheeks turning red as he rocked and bounced James. The demon looked at Aziraphale as if he was a liar or as if he'd told a joke that wasn't funny at all, though the corners of his mouth tugged slightly upwards.

"You really are," Aziraphale smiled gently, attempting to hide the silent longing in his chest, "you're magnificent with him, dear boy." He walked slowly towards the demon. Crowley sighed contentedly, glancing between Aziraphale and James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be a regular chapter but honestly, soft moments give me life. also help, im applying to baskin robinns


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley receive a visit from an unwelcome guest

_About four years later_

Crowley stood in front of the stove, his brow furrowed in concentration. It wasn't often that he did this, but today was special. The demon always made birthday pancakes for Jamie.

The boy had yet to wake up and Crowley had no intention to wake him. This had to be a surprise, it needed to be _special. _Of course, Crowley knew Jamie would be anticipating the pancakes, they'd done this for all of his birthdays. 

He heard a soft yawn behind him and turned to see a sleepy Aziraphale, blinking awake. He was bathed in the sunlight from the windows all around the kitchen. The sight made Crowley's breath catch on his throat.

"Morning, angel." Crowley said, reaching to the counter, where he had been letting two cups of coffee cool. He handed the lighter mug to Aziraphale, who smiled and took it. "It's still hot, so be careful." The demon warned before watching the angel attempt a massive gulp, pulling away coughing and sputtering.

"That's certainly one way to wake up." Aziraphale rasped between coughs. Crowley did his best to not laugh before turning back to his pancakes. He carefully flipped the pancake in the pan, smiling at the fact that it hadn't burned. Even if it had he would've simply performed a demonic miracle and fixed it. Everything had to be perfect for Jamie.

"Are you opening the bookshop today? I'm sure Jamie would love to go with you." Crowley asked. Aziraphale shrugged and took another sip of his coffee.

"You make the coffee to bitter, Crowley. I like it with six sugars, not four." Aziraphale said, reaching for their pot of sugar cubes. It was small but ornate much unlike most of the house. It was all very traditional, yes, but it wasn't fancy. It was like an average house, something which seemed quite unlike Crowley's style. There was a cracking noise and the two felt another presence among them.

"Gabriel." Aziraphale squeaked. Crowley reached for the sunglasses at his chest before he turned to greet the archangel.

"There's no need for those, Crawly." Gabriel snapped his fingers, teleporting the sunglasses away from the demon. He clicked his tongue and turned to face Gabriel.

"It's been 5000 years and no one seems to get it right. My name is Crowley. What are you doing here, Gabriel?" Crowley asked slow moving away from the stove. Gabriel's mouth twitched upwards into a smile.

"Funny you should ask, foul fiend. I was actually popping in to check on Aziraphale. I wasn't expecting you to be here." Gabriel said. "Although this poses several questions." Aziraphale's face reddened.

"It's truly nothing to-"

"It seems like it _is _something because this is where we met four years ago. This house. You'd talked of a baby and his single father, and now you're here, again, with a demon." Gabriel smiled awkwardly. A sinking feeling filled Crowley's chest as he watched the two angels speak.

"The, er, circumstances bringing the boy into my care have yet to change. Crowley and I happen to both be... I kidnapped the anti-Christ." Aziraphale was an awful liar, every time he lied he'd begin clenching and unclenching his first- something Crowley knew from millennia of watching Aziraphale. However, Aziraphale may have been a god-awful liar, but Gabriel was dense as a lead balloon.

"Excuse me... _what?" _ Gabriel seemed to panic inwardly at this 'revelation.'

"Yep, kidnapped him. I'm only here because I want to make the Anti-Christ an actual threat. Aziraphale has been thwarting me, you could say." Crowley on the other hand was smooth lipped. He'd mastered lying millennia ago. The demon could lie with no sign, no physical twitches. Gabriel pressed his hands together and to his lips, violet eyes widened as if he was going insane.

"I-I have to go." The archangel panicked before there was a crack followed by a blinding light.

"We are so screwed." Crowley mumbled.

The pancake was burnt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is insanely short! I thought where it ends was better than what i originally planned, but don't worry theres much more in the wings. I love the fact that Azi acknowledges his feelings more than Crowley. Every one has Crowley as hopelessly in love and like he acknowledges it more than Azi but I think crowley probably has a hard time identifying and dealing with his emotions.


	5. This actually isn't part of the story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of my apology for disappearing! I swear i'll get back to writing soon I'm just in the thick of a few major tests and work and practice for the dance team is wild. have some indulgent writing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not part of the story!!!! this is super self-indulgent and yeah. very very smutty, Crowley is a slut.

Crowley was not modest, in any sense. He didn't dress as a harlot, per se, but when the option was presented for him to be revealing he took it. It was fun to see conservative humans squirm in discomfort and see others try not to stare. To Crowley, there were few things he was more fond of than this.

So when Aziraphale invited him for a walk on the hottest day of the year, Crowley had grinned at the opportunity. Since 2010, people had been far less judgmental of men walking around in "feminine" clothing. Thus came Crowley's favorite outfits.

Today he picked high waisted shorts, that were just short enough to show the bottom of his ass, and a sheer white button up. His half up, half down hairstyle was changed to half up-in-a-braid, half down.

What he had not expected was to watch Aziraphale struggle to breathe as soon as the got out of the car. It was as if the angel had asthma, which Crowley was 73% sure angel's could not suffer from. No, Aziraphale had gasped almost right out of the car, and had struggled since. Perhaps it was allergies, did angels have allergies? Crowley shrugged to himself, some questions had no answers.

He paid little mind to Aziraphale's struggle as they walked and talked. Doing his best not to lose his fucking mind every time they made eye contact. Aziraphale felt so forbidden, hidden under what could've been miles of buttons to a desperate man. The way his blue eyes reflected the sunlight made Crowley almost pass out.

Crowley drove Aziraphale back to the bookshop far slower than he had ever driven, to the point that he pissed off other drivers. It didn't matter to him, he knew that when this day ended he go back to being Nanny Ashtoreth and Aziraphale would be Brother Francis for a spoiled brat of a child. Crowley wouldn't see Aziraphale like this until the apocalypse, which they could hopefully divert. If they couldn't, they wouldn't see each other like this until the battle field, caught in a battle meant to be more poetic and less physical. The thought made Crowley sick.

"-despite him being a spoiled brat, I do believe we've done quite a good job with Warlock, dear. Most children are spoiled, by the by, when they reach his age. He's quite the brilliant boy, he's almost perfectly normal." Aziraphale said. Crowley nodded, his knuckles white as he tried to not think about Warlock, the thoughts would ruin an otherwise lovely day.

"Ngh." Crowley groaned. The last thing the demon wanted to think of was Warlock, yet it was inescapable.

"He is truly frustrating, dear. I do believe that we have done our jobs well enough, as you will." The angel responded, before noticing how annoyed Crowley looked. "Shall I make you some lemonade at the bookshop? The bookshop is bit of a mess, considering my presence or lack thereof, but it should be clean enough for us to enjoy some drinks?" This piqued Crowley's interest. It was not often that the angel invited _him. _It was quite rare in fact. Generally Crowley invited him to lunch or to go walking as they had today.

"I _hope _you mean alcohol, Angel." Crowley said. Aziraphale gave a knowing smile.  
  


Crowley say on Aziraphale's desk, legs swinging, ass perked out in a cry for Aziraphale's attention. In one hand he held a glass of the most alcoholic lemonade to ever have been brewed. The other propped him up, resting on a stack of papers. Aziraphale's glass sat untouched while the Angel scurried to clean the bookshop a little. Normally they would sit and drink in the back room, but Aziraphale seemed far to preoccupied for that. The lack of attention rather annoyed Crowley. Even though he knew Aziraphale did not belong to him and owed him no attention, when the angel focused on other things it made Crowley jealous. He was jealous, even, of Aziraphale's books. The books had been held by Aziraphale, cradled, cared for. They were possibly the luckiest bastards in all of creation.

"What shall we do next?" Crowley asked as he watched the Angel.

"What would Please you, Crowley?" Aziraphale asked. Crowley thought for a moment.

"They're making a movie about Thor, think it came out a couple weeks ago. We should go see that." Crowley shrugged.

"I remember Thor. Big, brutish fellow? Kept claiming he controlled the storms, did he not? Michael quite disliked him, showed him controlling the weather!" Aziraphale laughed. Crowley knew that meant that Michael had unleashed God's fury in traditional smiting fashion.

"Fun." Crowley stated blandly. "You sure you wanna wear _that _to a movie theatre? Those places are dark and dirty." Aziraphale scoffed and looked at his clothes.

"These clothes are fine-!"

"Yes, but I'd hate to have to clean them for you when soda spills on them or grease gets on them." Crowley interrupted. The angel frowned before nodding.

"I suppose you're right. However, you cannot get me into something like... that." Aziraphale pointed to Crowley's outfit. The demon quirked an eyebrow.

"What? Why would I? What's wrong with this outfit? Who said I'm dressing you?" Crowley spluttered.

"Well, since you know so much about what should be worn to cinema so you can help me." Aziraphale crosses his arms over his chest. Crowley felt his entire body panic. Was he going to see Aziraphale strip down, could he even survive that?

"Kay." He shrugged. The angel gave a triumphant smile and led the demon up the stairs to his bedroom.

Aziraphale didn't have a lavish bedroom, though he did have an abnormal amount of pillows, but it was nice. Everything was made of fine materials despite their simplicity, though Crowley doubted they got use and appreciation. Aziraphale opened up his wardrobe, revealing many similar beige suits, blue or white button downs, and bow ties all neatly arrange. Crowley sauntered over and began looking, paying no heed when Aziraphale would get a little panicky about what he touched. Finally, he found something that was not a beige suit with a blue button down. It was merely a cream Henley but it would work far better for the move theatre. He pulled it out.

"This would do great if you had some other-," Crowley fished around in the closet for a moment before feeling the denim material he was so used to. He pulled out a pair of what seemed to be his black skinny jeans.

"No!" Aziraphale wailed. " I mean... that shirt is my pajamas and I don't even like those pants." He complained. Crowley tilted his head.

"Well, it's this or your pretty suit. I personally would suggest this," Crowley shook the hangers in his left hand, "over that," he used his free one to pint at Aziraphale, "for the occasion. Don't get me wrong, you look ravishing in that suit-!" Crowley stopped himself, turning bright red. Aziraphale was also nod blushing, whether from anger or embarrassment he couldn't tell.

"You think me to look ravishing?" Aziraphale sounded slightly awed.

"Yeah, I mean no... I mean not unless you want me to..." Crowley thought he was losing his mind. He was sure it was the alcohol talking. His angel smiled.

"Thank you, dear. You look quite fetching yourself." Aziraphale blushed. Crowley didn't say anything but a small 'ngk' sound left him. He stood, clothes still in his left hand, but now he used his right hand to desperately prop himself against the wardrobe. Aziraphale sighed and began unbuttoning his waist coat. Crowley choked on the air.

"Something wrong, dear?" Aziraphale asked, "you said you'd help me dress." He frowned. Crowley blushed deeply and nodded, helping him out of his outermost coat. The layers of elegant fabric carefully hid Aziraphale from prying eyes, as though he was only made for one lucky person to see. Crowley had always hoped it could be him to see Aziraphale without his modest clothes.

Aziraphale could obviously easily do this alone, yet he insisted the Crowley stay and 'help,' whatever that meant. The demon stood in front of the angel, working his nimble fingers down the buttons of Aziraphale's sky blue button down. He had no clue what he was doing, he felt like a kid rushing to see something he shouldn't look at. What if this happened and God finally said 'stop fucking around with my principality" and blinded Crowley just for seeing something as divine, as purely holy as Aziraphale without a shirt. Aziraphale was carefully combing his hair as Crowley undid his shirt, seeming unbothered and casual about this whole thing. _Of course he's casual. He isn't attracted to you like that. You're just friends, idiot._

When Crowley reaches the last button he heard Aziraphale stop his steady breathing. Despite the fact that they had no need to breath, it had become quite natural to them. Crowley tried to explain it away, but struggled to as he looked away.

"I helped, can we just-." He didn't finish, just covered his blushing face with his hand. His eyes must have been full blown and gold at the thought of seeing Aziraphale.

What surprised Crowley was when Aziraphale reached up and pulled Crowley's hand from his face. The angel had a strange look on his look that made Crowley feel like his heart dropped off the face of the earth. In that moment he peeked away from Aziraphale's face and to his body.

The was a beauty and power in his softness. It was so entirely gorgeous to Crowley that he was surprised his didn't faint. The angel was now staring expectantly.

"Well? I'm here, no shirt, are you not going to at least make this fair?" Aziraphale asked. It took everything Crowley had not to hit the floor as soon as the words passed Aziraphale's lips. Crowley didn't need a written invitation. Sure his shirt was sheer, but he wasn't going to deny this request. He could've torn the shirt in two, anything to get it off quicker.

"Did you have a drink?" Crowley asked, his pretty white blouse now a pile on the floor. Aziraphale chuckled and put a hand on Crowley's cheek. If Crowley had a proper pulse, he was sure it would have stopped long ago. The divinity of the feeling of Aziraphale's hand on his cheek brought tears to his eyes. The demon leaned into the touch, tears resting on his lashes.

"Am I upsetting to you?" Aziraphale asked, his firm touch wavering.

"N-no. It's not that at all. You're perfect." Crowley said. The truth was that Crowley was overwhelmed, the gentleness of the touch and the love behind it was unlike anything g he'd felt since he fallen. Every touch was always from a beating when you were a denizen of hell. It was always hateful. Aziraphale pulled Crowley down to his level and pressed a kiss onto his lips. The demon could've discorporated right there.

The kiss lingered almost too long. Neither wanted to break the moment. The amount of love pouring off of Aziraphale was almost too much for Crowley's demonic existence to handle. He was not built to receive love in any context. Demons were built to deter love. This was making his system do backflips.

They mutually deepened the kiss, Crowley's hand knitting together behind Aziraphale's head, Aziraphale placing his other hand on Crowley's waist. Tears spilled off of Crowley's face as they kissed, the intensity of the love, the feeling of Aziraphale being with him was too much. Eventually Aziraphale placed his hands on Crowley's ass and hoisted him up. The angel began kissing down Crowley neck as he carried him over to the bed.

Crowley groaned in pleasure as Aziraphale kissed and nibbled at his throat, one hand tangling in Aziraphale's short curls.

"Fuck, Zi-Azira-ziraphale." Crowley couldn't even get Aziraphale's name past his lips as he was gently placed on the bed. Aziraphale stood with Crowley's legs going up his body, one ankle resting on either shoulder. Something felt so deliciously right about Aziraphale being there, like when they had been made by God, she had crafted Aziraphale to fit perfectly between Crowley's legs.

The tears running down his face and the shudders running up his body drove Crowley slowly insane. He need Aziraphale, he needed his angel in so many ways. Crowley pulled his legs down to wrap around Aziraphale's waist just so he could pull the angel down and kiss him again. What if he never could kiss Aziraphale again? He had to make this time worth it, so when Aziraphale inevitably left him it wouldn't hurt. He would always have today.

When the Angel pulled back, he pulled the sunglasses from Crowley's face, giving a soft look. Softer than Crowley had received in 6000 years.

"Oh dear, don't cry. I'm here." Aziraphale cooed, kissing all over Crowley's face, kissing away the tears.

"Azi.. I... Zira.. please... ngh." Crowley grunted, desperately rolling his hips.

"I know dear, you're so good for me." Aziraphale said, fumbling with the button of Crowley's black shorts.

Crowley had been with many, many women throughout the years and a handful of men, but he always did that while presenting as a woman with female genitalia. Somewhere deep down he had prayed that he could save his male body, his favorite body, for someone special. He had subconsciously hoped that this would be Aziraphale's and Aziraphale's only. That being said, this version of his body was virgin.

He wondered if Aziraphale had been with anyone before. The angel had successfully unbuttoned Crowley's shorts but was looking at him with beautiful blue eyes for approval.

"Are you sure?" Aziraphale asked. Crowley rolled his hip once more though he couldn't really form words.

"Ngh.... plea-se." Crowley begged. A small smile graced Aziraphale's lips and Crowley wanted to lean up kiss that smile all damn day. Nothing would ever be better than kissing Aziraphale. There was nothing as pure, as intoxicatingly holy as that. Crowley gasped whenever his shirt were pulled from his body, leaving bare skin. He was fully exposed in front of Aziraphale who stared at him with similar adoration of God to her children on the first day of creation. Crowley attempted to pull self-conscious arms around himself in that moment. While he outwardly would never breathe of these thoughts, he'd always worried that he was _too _skinny, or how there was very, very little muscle definition across his body. As soon as he did though, Aziraphale gently pulled Crowley's arms away, pinning them above Crowley's head and leaning down.

"You're so stunning, Crowley, let me just look at you." Aziraphale whispered in Crowley's ear. The demon shivered and gasped. He hadn't expected anything quite so surprisingly erotic to ever come from Aziraphale. Before the angel could fully pull away, Crowley grabbed his face and kissed him again. This kiss was less soft and tender and was more hungry, begging for Aziraphale despite the fact that Crowley had him.

(In fact, Crowley had Aziraphale wrapped so tight around his finger that God herself was surprised when the two pulled apart the next morning, she had not expected Aziraphale to allow that.)

Aziraphale complied to whatever wish Crowley even hinted that he wanted. When the two pulled from the kiss, Aziraphale pulled off his trousers and underwear with such speed and desperation, it made Crowley wonder if Aziraphale wanted him and much as he wanted Aziraphale.

"What is it you want me to do, dear?" Aziraphale asked Crowley, now standing naked in front of him. Crowley felt like this should've immediately killed him, like being doused in holy water. The angel was soft, but he had powerful legs and arms. He was obviously designed as a warrior, despite his jolly demeanor.

"Ngh... tell me... you love me... even if it's a lie." Crowley fumbled over his words. The angel had a shocked look on his face. Had Crowley been wrong? Did the angel not feel the same way? Was he only here because Crowley was an easy shag? Stupid demon think and angel could ever love him, that anyone could.

"I love you, and you alone Crowley. I speak only the truth to you, dear. Every bone in me aches and longs for you," Aziraphale paused to sweetly kiss Crowley's collarbone, "I have wanted no other as I have longed for you. You make the turning of the earth, the stars in the sky irrelevant to me, if I could stay here forever in this blessed place I would." Crowley felt the tears start again. His being was not willing to receive love but Crowley _needed _it. He pleaded to feel more of the love that Aziraphale drowned him in.

Crowley knew that God existed, but religion was not his forte. He would never attend church, as if he could, and he would never actively pray for the things he needed. However, this was his new religion, here in a forbidden sanctuary. No one could see them but God. No one would ever know the love shared between the two, the divinity of every kiss, every touch. Crowley knew he could never return to Heaven but if he could have this even just once it would be worth it. This was his religion, this was his baptism, the feeling of his skin on Aziraphale's was divine matrimony. No one could ever take this away from him.

The look in Aziraphale's eyes made Crowley's stomach turn to a pit and his mind go blank. It was animalistic yet made of holy love. The way he glanced over Crowley, begging for Crowley to just make eye contact, made goosebumps rise across Crowley's skin.

"Zi... Zira... I need you. I love you." Crowley begged. Aziraphale nodded. The angel held two fingers to Crowley's lips, who gave a confused look.

"I don't want to hurt you, Crowley." Aziraphale said softly. Crowley then understood and took the fingers into his mouth. He sucked them as erotically as he could muster, though he was shaking and sloppy. His hands still were above his head, he wanted to be good. He swirled around Aziraphale's fingers with his tongue and gave the sluttiest look he could. _I'm yours, I want to be good for you. _He thought, as though Aziraphale could hear him.

"You're so good for me. So very pretty." Aziraphale said. His voice was deeper than normal, velvety and smooth. Like honey slowly dripping onto Crowley's tongue. It made Crowley's legs feel weak. He wanted to be good, he wanted to make Aziraphale happy. He rolled his hips onto Aziraphale's watching as the angel groaned in pleasure. Crowley adjusted so Aziraphale's cock sat between Crowley's ass cheeks. The demon twitched against Aziraphale watching in satisfaction as his jaw went slack. After a few moments of this Aziraphale pulled the finger's from Crowley's mouth. Crowley realized that Aziraphale easily could've used a miracle to lube his fingers, he had merely wanted to watch Crowley suck his fingers.

When Aziraphale pulled his hips away from Crowley the demon let out a pathetic whine. That was where Aziraphale belonged, he fit so perfectly against the shape of Crowley- his thoughts were cut off by a new sensation. He gasped as he felt a slick finger run across his hole. This was new, it was different in the most delicious way Crowley could imagine. The finger circled his hole a few times before slowly sliding into him. Time seemed to slow, one part of Aziraphale was inside of him and Crowley had no clue how to react. His back arched and he arms tensed. There wasn't any pain, just surprise but Crowley reacted harshly.

"It's okay, dear. Just relax a tad, it hurts more if you're tense." Aziraphale cooed. Slowly, the angel pulled his finger most of the way out and slid it back in. It hit something in Crowley that made him let out a soft moan. Aziraphale grinned in such a sexual manner that Crowley could've sworn the angel had fallen.

"Do you like that?" Aziraphale asked.

"Ngh..." Crowley groaned rolling his hips down onto the finger. Aziraphale smiled and added a second finger. This made Crowley hiss in pain and Aziraphale paused.

"Are you alright?" Aziraphale had never looked so concerned for Crowley. Crowley gave a nod and moved his hips experimentally. With a smile Aziraphale began moving his hand again. (Aziraphale had never been more jealous of his own hand but watching Crowley's face screw up in pleasure when his fingers brushed his spot made Aziraphale pray that Crowley would soon be ready. Though he enjoyed knowing that he could make Crowley feel good.)

Crowley whimpered when Aziraphale removed his fingers.

"Shh, shh, you're doing so good." Aziraphale shushed him. This time he did use a miracle to live his cock and Crowley's hole (because he wasn't sure he would survive watching Crowley suck him off) and gently lined his cock up with Crowley. The demon stared up at Aziraphale with a look of innocence and trust that made the angel's breath catch in his throat.

"Pl-ease- Zi... need-!" He was cut off by his own gasp as Aziraphale gently pushed into him. Tears sprang to his eyes for several reasons, those reasons being; he was not emotionally ready for the connection he would feel, he was overwhelmed by the look on Aziraphale's face, and it really hurt. His arms flung up to wrap around Aziraphale's neck, clinging tightly to the angel. _His _angel. He was no longer on the bed, instead he was supported by Aziraphale. There was no way for them to be closer together. Crowley's tears fell from his eyes and onto Aziraphale's shoulder, where his face was nuzzled. The angel shuddered at the feeling of the tears rolling down his back.

"Are you alright? Am I hurting you?" Aziraphale asked.

"N-no... is m' first..." Crowley said when he had slid all the way down Aziraphale's cock. (This surprised Aziraphale. He hadn't realized how special he was to Crowley.) There was a moment of complete silence, neither moved. They were as close together as two being could ever be and Crowley wasn't sure he could bring himself to end this moment. Eventually though he couldn't stand the ache of his cock as it begged for stimulation. He rolled his hips down as a way of saying 'I'm ready' and shuddered as Aziraphale slowly began to move. As Aziraphale did this Crowley's dark wings unwillingly unfurled, cocooning the two from the world, creating a new universe where there was only two, Crowley and Aziraphale. This was Crowley's sanctuary, his home, his safety. Only he and God would ever hold the honor of witnessing this moment as Aziraphale began moving Crowley up and down. (God had, in fact, decided to tune in on Aziraphale and caught him in the midst of this moment as Aziraphale swore to himself that if he had to fall to have Crowley this way each and every day, he would in a heartbeat.)

As Crowley bounced up and down Aziraphale hit his g-spot. All sense of time, all meaning left Crowley as he screamed out. He forgot everything, his worries, his sorrow, even his own name. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that had ever mattered was Aziraphale. Crowley pulled his face from the nape of Aziraphale's neck to capture his lips in the gentlest miss he could. It returned to something divine. In this moment Aziraphale was his God, his savior, his Holy Spirit, nothing else mattered, not the apocalypse, not some brat child, not Beelzebub and Gabriel for damn sure, not even God. She could keep her prying eyes far away from this moment, this belonged to Crowley. This was his, not hers. Crowley belonged to none except Aziraphale.

"Never in God's creation had there been a being as perfect as you." Aziraphale whispered, he had not intended that to be said aloud, yet he couldn't help himself. Crowley cried harder, leaning back into the nape of Aziraphale's neck and moaning. Aziraphale's thrusts became quicker and sloppier as he went along, Crowley moaning into his ear and clawing at his back drawing him closer and closer to climax. The angel wrapped one hand around Crowley's untouched cock and began stroking it in time with his thrust. Crowley was shaking, his body was experiencing too much pleasure for him to properly handle.

"Aziraphale!" Crowley shrieked. It didn't matter to him who heard him, he had forgotten about the existence of other intelligent beings. He was back in the garden, today was the first day and last day of history. This was all that mattered. His body spasmed as he came into Aziraphale's hand, shortly followed by a rough thrust by Aziraphale as he came. Crowley's body twitched as he was gently placed back into the bed, his black feathers extending past the edges of the bed. He pulled them back in so Aziraphale could lie down next to him. The air was thick with the smell of sex and passion, but it didn't bother Crowley. As soon as Aziraphale laid down he straddled the angel's waist and wrapped himself tightly around Aziraphale. The two kissed softly, sweetly in a way that the day prior Crowley could only fantasize of. The way he entangled himself to Aziraphale made them seem like one being, one child of God. One of her favorites as well. Two halves of one divine whole.

Crowley had never felt loved, now he was soaked from head to toe in Aziraphale's divine love. This was his world, his religion, his life. He knew that in the morning he would have to separate himself from Aziraphale but that was not now.

"I love you." He whispered so softly he though Aziraphale may not have heard it.

"And I love you, dear." Aziraphale smiled softly. Crowley stared into Aziraphale's pale blue eyes and fell in love again.

This was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this isnt actually a chapter, forgive me! I want to write this story but it's just a lot to balance. I wrote this over the weekend so enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hhhhhh this is my first fanfic in four years so I hope it's alright! My last fanfic was hamilton shit on wattpad and i regret it, but I hope it's better this time, sorry in advance.


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